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Tobias
1191 6 66

Happy Jolly Lovely Chrimbo

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
When prisoners - who are already in prison - misbehave and need to be punished, they're placed in solitary confinement, deprived of any human contact. It's basically a form of torture. I'm spending Christmas alone. I've been alone all week, and I will be all next week too. On that cheery note, merry Christmas to you all!!! My gift to you is the Android version of Taming Dreams, which I released yesterday, as you can see from the ∞ previous post ∞!

But yes. Christmas alone. I talked about this in a post the other day, at the start of this period of isolation, and it didn't seem too hard at the time. Two weeks to spend as I please, in peace, without any obligations to concern myself with. A time to finish Taming Dreams and such. I've spent years alone anyway, so two more weeks of isolation didn't seem too bad. A drop in the ocean.

However, I suppose now that I know what it's like to have people in my life, it's harder to endure the loneliness. It really is very challenging. I know I could contact people, to talk, but I also know they're busy with their other friends and family members so I don't want to disturb them or get in the way. I've always been like that. Never reaching out or 'pestering' anyone. Burdening them with my presence.

Challenges are how we grow, though, or so I try to tell myself. I'm trying to use this time productively and meditatively; developing my mind, overcoming various mental hangups that have held me back for a while. I've already made some progress there.

But I suppose none of this has anything to do with the games that I make. I sort-of released Taming Dreams yesterday - again, see the previous post if you haven't already - and I'm very pleased to see that, while it hasn't got a whole load of ratings or reviews yet, the few it does have are very positive indeed. I'm glad of this foundation on which the game's future fate might be built.

The only non-5-star review correctly pointed out that it's not for the 'lowest common denominator', which got me thinking. It's not a very accessible game, really; it requires at least a modicum of intelligence and an inquisitive and patient mind to absorb all that it offers. I hope that will be a boon rather than a detriment to its eventual reputation, if indeed it ever becomes notable enough to acquire one. Like how games such as Dark Souls become appealing because of - not despite - their ferocious difficulty.

But then again, perhaps it could be said that most RPGs - with their innumerable numerical statistics with increasingly esoteric functions - are elusive and difficult to understand for those not acquainted with them. It's why - back in the day - Square developed ∞ Final Fantasy Mystic Quest ∞ as a 'simplified RPG for entry-level players'. I suppose it's easy to lose sight of the complexities of systems with which we're familiar, assuming that they'd be just as obvious to everyone else even though they're only obvious to us from repeated exposure... or something. Taming Dreams' mechanics are far less complex than, say, D&D; it's just that people are familiar with D&D by this point, so this unfamiliar system seems more arcane and perplexing.

Anyway, speaking of things being accessible, while I know that at least some people have played Taming Dreams by this point, I've no idea yet how many actually bought episode 3, because it seems to take a few days for such data to appear for me to view. I hope that everyone's not just playing the first two free episodes and then stopping after that. That'd be a shame, since I feel that episode 3 is the best one. I know that some people would insist I release every episode for free, but, well, I wish food and rent were free too. Unfortunate that the world doesn't work that way.

Also, a couple of people asked whether I'd release the music, and the answer to that is 'oh, right, I forgot about that!'. I'll try to get the soundtrack up on Bandcamp and YouTube soon.

Anyway, if you're having a fun time this Christmas, I do hope that you enjoy the festivities and gifts and whatever else the day may involve for you! I know the day will drag on for me. I'll try to get some things done, to meditate, things like that.
66
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on 6 Roots

6 Comments

21 United States
Lord Something
2
Merry Hannakuh and Holy Yuletide-mass!....I perhaps had too much egg nog, but oh well.
36 Bulgaria
Kal
3
Yay ... I just managed to buy Ep. 3, which was my first purchase ever on Google Play. Lots of firsts with Taming Dreams ... but isn't that what taming your dreams is about? ;)

However, I'm still reading the dialogue between Mardek and Enki after their first miasmon agitation. I'm going veeeery slowly. Savouring every word and every shift in the characters' expressions ....

Sorta meditating. :)
18 United States INFP LII SoSp RLUAI AIE PhlegmaticSanguine
IAmNotSmartest
3
Merry Jesus-Birthday-day!
That's what the holiday is for, right?

I can't wait for the soundtrack to be more readily available, I frequent streams with "Songrequest" on, so I could help gain exposure that way, maybe.

You know, the first non-five-star review actually does mean something. Like P Kal said, it helps show that more than just friends and family enjoyed it.

I've actually tried a sort of meditation session- I needed to calm down, I had to talk to my father about some bad grades- and I can honestly say that it went much better than usual. Less 'Shouty.' Less disappointment and resent. I was calmer, so he was too. I thought it might be nice to mention that, because the Mindfulness exercises and the like really are helping, thanks to you.
22 United States ESTJ MelancholicPhlegmatic
DuogDuogDuog
3
Like always, you never cease to amaze me in your personal developments for the last few years A Tobias. You've created solutions for yourself as what all of us can read and see which is a good thing to know since you are open about yourself. What you are seeking in the end I hope you find it and everyone else, Merry Christmas or Happy holidays if any of you celebrate something else.
21 United States
Sansa Stark
1
It would help to have the link.
36 Bulgaria
Kal
5
Tobias (:

Looking at the people who frequent your blog, I can safely say that:

1) You needn't worry about the complexity of Taming Dreams, one way or another. ;)

2) Our hearts are large enough ;) to reserve a warm and cozy place for you, even when we're surrounded by other friends. So you're all on your own--but only in the physical sense. :) When you meditate, vasten your consciousness and see what you will sense.

... Do you feel all those other caring presences? Yes, it's us .... :)))

P.S. Only 5-star reviews would have been suspicious. Like, it's only friends and family members who have voted for your game. (Well, we are that, in a way, but still. :D )