∞ Here's an article ∞
that's deeply relevant to what I'm trying to do at the moment, and where I am psychologically when it comes to video games. It talks about how we outgrow games because as a medium of expression they're usually puerile... and how games that tackle more meaningful topics tend to be unprofitable and ridiculed for existing. Hmm.
A couple of paragraph in particular caught my eye:
Thanks to the internet and how it brings extreme minorities together, the "wrong" kinds of people into the "wrong" kinds of games can find themselves receiving death and rape threats just because they're curious about Firewatch or Undertale, neither of which are pornos or even euphemisms. Other sure ways to get ostracized including being someone who is enthused about video games that explore relatable topics like depression or social anxiety, or someone who just isn't "good enough" skill-wise at the "right" games. If none of that makes sense to you, pat yourself on the back, because you still have a soul.
And somewhere around 8 p.m. on a weekday night in the dark on a couch, when you are playing a video game that has you drag a giant sword behind you who talks to you in a robot voice, you will have this epiphany: "This isn't helping me look at my life any differently." Not that this alone is inherently bad. Both adults and video games fail to recognize that play and turning off your brain is a valuable, even necessary part of life. But it's also kind of like eating cheeseburgers. You reach a point where you realize that maybe you want to try sushi or vegetables. And by the time you've read some profound books or heard some great albums or read some amazing graphic novels or seen some solid movies, you can reasonably conclude: "I could have been getting laid instead of beating Kingdom Hearts. I've wasted my life." That most video games that do try do something different rarely make money and get ridiculed for even existing only makes all this worse.
I'm one of the ones trying to do something differently. Chances are it won't end well. Should I keep trying anyway? I'm not sure at all.
I mean, I'd like to think that it'd be worth the effort just to contribute something positive to the world to say that I have done so, to perhaps influence the few who might enjoy it in a meaningful way... Perhaps then I could feel that my years spent in this field weren't wasted. But if it's only going to attract vitriol, could I endure that?
For now, I'm going to keep working on Soulmate... But I really do fear that I'm making an ice sculpture that I'll only end up throwing into Hell.