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Tobias
2972 3 69

Update!

Posted by A Tobias 7 months ago
Hello! I just wanted to write an update because I haven't in a while. Sadly, development has been somewhat in stasis recently, due to deep depression and my brain tumour; I've been writing more about all that on my ∞ personal blog ∞. I have been making progress, it's just slow!

I've been working on the project mentioned in the previous post: an app where you feed creatures that represent aspects of yourself in order to visually monitor your own personal growth. I've been wondering whether to call it 'Mentalgerie', as in mental + menagerie, but maybe that's a clumsy name?

Thanks to those who contributed your thoughts and ideas related to it! They got me thinking, and it was very valuable to see such a thing from others' perspectives, as I wasn't sure how - or if - other people would use it, or whether they'd get anything out of it. Knowing that some people would is quite motivating!

Sorry about not replying to individual comments though. Isolation and news about my brain tumour have been getting to me a whole lot lately. I feel I'm on the way to recovery now, though, and I'll be returning to university on the weekend, so that'll shake things up again.

I really hoped to use this Summer break to do loads of development work, but I suppose medical reasons prevented that from happening. Which is irritating.

I've built the 'Mentalgerie' app to the point where it works, sort of - it only took a couple of hours - but I basically just need to design the creatures and fancify it now. I can't really show off any screenshots or concept art here because there's so little to see!

Anyway. Thanks for your continued patience with all of this, and for those of you who've supported me through these difficult times.
69
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3 Comments

21 United States
Jacquesssss
2
Hey -- every few years I click over and check on MARDEK development (no pressure! -- just curious how one person undertakes such as massive, long-term project), and today reading about the difficult times you've been facing I had to make an account and express my support. Best wishes on your happiness and health, and I hope our distant internet presence brings you a sense of peace and kindness.
24 Germany ISTJ 5w6 SxSp PhlegmaticCholeric
Fenix Shakura
2
Haha, I'll be picking up on my pre-poster's statement about not having a Disqus-Account. So I'll be posting this here, even though it refers to your other blog.

On your little debate you had on that mood-recording app, I gotta say, I must agree with the other person. I cannot say anything about their intent, but their comment was indeed neutral. Neither did it adress you personally, nor did it accuse for total deficit of empathy.
(You could say it was sugar-coating for a more negative judgement, but keep in mind that words make only a measely 7% of "normal" communication.)
However, your ego immediately saw its own reflection in what the other person has said, and this identification was what made you ultimately snap.

Mind-blowing, isn't it? I'm aware that this was probably not what you would like to hear. You have attributed my last post for you as "food for thought", and I hope you can acknowlege it this time as such as well.

If it makes you feel any better, I feel like I'm stuck between the extremes as well, and I couldn't relate to people in my environment very often either. But I'm definetly leaning more on the "cerebral science" side. Although at one point I was wondering whether I suffered from autism, I came to the conclusion that I am "too sane", after all.

At the very least it makes me feel more assured that picking the games development industry was the right choice. Video games are the greatest synergy of art and science that I've ever seen.
23 United States
The Jop
3
There's definitely no need to thank us for our patience, Toby. Your health and happiness are far more important than developing a game. I think I speak for most people here when I say you can take as much time as you need to get better and we hope things improve for you. I can't post on your personal blog because I don't have an account there, but let me assure you that you have all the support I can give to you over the internet.