0

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

11

12

13

14

15

16

17

18

19

20

21

22

23

24

25

26

27

28

29

30

31

32

33

34

35

36

37

38

39

40

41

42

43

44

45

46

47

48

49

50

51

52

53

54

55

56

57

58

59

60

61

62

63

64

65

66

67

68

69

70

71

72

73

74

75

76

77

78

79

80

81

82

83

84

85

86

87

88

89

90

91

92

93

94

95

96

97

98

99

100

101

102

103

104

105

106

107

108

109

Posts relating to Anxiety :

Tobias
2512 62 65

Fears and Faltering

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
I've done little work recently, as my mind's still stuck in a state of wandering wondering about worries, loneliness and my uncertain path into the future, though I feel I'm taking steps towards getting out of this mental quagmire. I've been playing a game for inspiration. I held a human brain, which was one of my biggest fears and which turned out to be a positive experience. I drew some comedians!!
Read more...
Tobias
1922 18 110

The end of the beginning

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
I've not updated this site in ages, and I've not released Taming Dreams either! I'd like to talk about the personal reasons for these things here, then I'll probably write another post later about the more technical aspects of what I plan to do with Taming Dreams (I've certainly not abandoned it; I've simply been very distracted). Also, here's a self-portrait that I painted the other day.
Read more...
Tobias
2021 13 104

Quick Update

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
I got an iPhone on Monday so then I could publish to those, and I've already got a port working perfectly! However, it seems that I need an actual Mac computer to upload any apps to Apple's app store, so SIGH. Thankfully, the university has Macs in the library, so hopefully I should be able to use those when I next have the chance.
Read more...
Tobias
2100 19 112

How I'm Doing

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
The comments on the previous post made me aware that I've not actually ~talked about my feelings~ in a while, so I've not made it clear how I'm doing on a personal level. It's not that I'm trying to hide anything or put on a brave face; I simply haven't had the time! I'm working absurdly long hours at the moment in a rush to finish episode 3 - essentially from the moment I wake up to the moment I go to sleep - and when I'm not working, I just want to rest and relax, which doesn't involve typing things. I'll probably cover quite a lot of things here, though!
Read more...
Tobias
2204 30 81

Fretful Musings on Obsolescence

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
I'm planning to release MARDEK 'as soon as possible', but ugh; every time I think I'm done, I discover new barriers in the way... Not just technical bugs with MARDEK, but other things relating to how to release an app, or psychological avoidance stemming from isolation and a lack of immediate emotional support that makes it difficult to do research in the first place.
Read more...
Tobias
3486 71 110

I need help!

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
MARDEK's done, and I want to release it. However, I don't know how. Or rather, I don't know what the best approach would be. If anyone knows anything about this, or has any suggestions about who to contact, or is willing to do research of their own to learn the ins and outs of the industry so then we can all pool our knowledge together, I'd appreciate it; currently I'm feeling really overwhelmed because I have nobody 'in the know' to talk to and so I feel like I have to face all this alone. And so I'm writing this!
Read more...
Tobias
2332 3 150

Trepidation, Victims, Peace.... Thoughts

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
MARDEK's basically ready to be uploaded... but I seem to be having difficulty with the emotional aspects of all of this. I had to essentially go into hiding to recover from the stress of everything before, but now that I'm at the point where I should come out of hiding, I can't say that I feel especially prepared. So I'm going to write what will likely be a long, rambling, barely coherent post about my thoughts at this point.
Read more...
Tobias
1640 1 119

Enlightenment

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
I wrote this to post elsewhere, but I thought I might as well post it here, too. It reiterates some concepts I've covered in previous entries, and expands on others. In summary, it speaks of a spiritual shift I've undergone recently; a raising of consciousness, and how you might undergo the same thing yourself.
Read more...
Tobias
1199 0 164

The Cocoon Cracks...

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
I've lived in fear and avoided the world for basically my whole life... It's led to social isolation, and an embarrassing lack of practical life skills and experience; there are so many things I can't do or which I've never done. For a long, long time, I defined myself in these terms; "I'm Different", "I don't belong in this world", "I'd only mess up if I tried, so I'll hide", and so on. It was easier to just curl up in my cocoon and let the world do its own thing, without getting involved in any way. Yesterday's spiritual experience seems to have led to a strong shift in my thinking, though, and now I feel so very open to many things that I'd never have thought possible before.
Read more...
Tobias
1981 2 124

Ommmmm~

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
I've had a dark day today... and it's culminated in tears. But they're epiphanous tears, tears of bliss from a pulse of white light that shot through my being, as I feel that I've stumbled upon some great secret that I've been edging ever closer to for a long while now.
Read more...