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Tobias
8768 17 183

The Struggle

Posted by A Tobias 9 months ago
It's been a long time since my last post here. Quite frankly, I've been struggling a lot recently with crippling depression... which isn't new for me, but which was certainly worsened by finding out that I have a brain tumour. I don't want to say that I've given up being creative; I've spent such a large chunk of my life making things that I can't imagine not doing that anymore. But making games alone is hard and potentially fruitless work, and my failure to connect with other people is really getting in the way of everything.
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Tobias
3492 3 69

Update!

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
Hello! I just wanted to write an update because I haven't in a while. Sadly, development has been somewhat in stasis recently, due to deep depression and my brain tumour; I've been writing more about all that on my ∞ personal blog ∞. I have been making progress, it's just slow!
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Tobias
3378 9 111

I Didn't Die

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
I'm currently recovering from brain surgery, which I had last week. Things like this shake up life a lot... but now that it's over for the moment (but not for good), I feel a bit lost. I've been trying to get back to games development, though, so I'd like to write a bit about that here.
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Tobias
3398 12 81

Brain Surgery

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
I've made little progress on Soulmate recently, as I've had a lot on my mind... Specifically cerebrospinal fluid, which next week's brain surgery is intended to remedy. An excess of it. On my mind. Get it? No? Oh, never mind. The point is that a person will pierce my mindmeat in a couple of days and also I might have a cancerous tumour and might die. All the best things in life happen to me, as you can clearly see.
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Tobias
2353 28 67

Still Alive...

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
It's been a while since I last updated this place. It's not that I've done no work on games; I just haven't been able to muster up the energy to write blog posts here! I've been struggling to cope with life, though. I found out there's something wrong with my brain. I've come close to suicide. I wrote about it all in ∞ my personal blog ∞. I'm trying to use this all as inspiration... Seeing my current phase of inactivity as a time for a meaningful idea to form rather than rushing into something half-heartedly.
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Tobias
1492 5 44

Taming the Mind

Posted by A Tobias 1 year ago
It's now the Easter break, so I have the next three weeks free to get around to all the things I've been neglecting! I'll try to get around to things like replying to comments and games development soon. For now, I just want to mention that I've finally got around to starting my new blog, ∞ Taming the Mind ∞, where I'll put all the stuff that isn't about games development.
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Tobias
2558 19 64

Coming Together

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
Sorry yet again about the delays and inactivity! It's not that I've stopped caring or drifted too far off course; I'm just working my way through a lot of difficult things right now. Still. I have three weeks free after next week, though, so I'll have more than enough time to resume work on games development. I'd like to write a bit here though about dipping my toe into the world of games playing, which I rarely do...
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Tobias
1796 18 56

Still Alive!

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
Sorry about the lack of updates here and with games recently! I'm having huge difficulties with time management and motivation, still... Nothing new, just more of the same. I won't have any university work to do for the next few weeks, though, and I've come to terms with certain other things, so I'm hoping to return to games development very soon.
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Tobias
2859 62 65

Fears and Faltering

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
I've done little work recently, as my mind's still stuck in a state of wandering wondering about worries, loneliness and my uncertain path into the future, though I feel I'm taking steps towards getting out of this mental quagmire. I've been playing a game for inspiration. I held a human brain, which was one of my biggest fears and which turned out to be a positive experience. I drew some comedians!!
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Tobias
1908 32 65

Juggling!

Posted by A Tobias 2 years ago
Agh, sorry about not making fast progress on my games or posting things here recently! I'm not used to having anything resembling a Life, so now that I am getting out almost every day, I'm not doing a particularly good job of handling everything at once. The biggest impediment to progress has been depression, though. I feel at least that I'm improving my life conditions - slowly but surely - so hopefully soon I'll be able to get back on track. Anyway, I'll write here about my plans, what I'm up to, etc.
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