I've been working on Dreamons, slowly! My blood pressure measurements are very variable! And I did a test meant to suggest careers for my personality, which told me nothing new but was interesting nonetheless! READ MORE
Some venting about recent sleep issues - likely a result of persistent life situation issues - and thoughts about my current game dev project, Dreamons, some old GBC Legend of Zelda games, and the Netflix adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. READ MORE
A project I've hinted at for a while has finally manifested in some form! Though this is far from the first time I've made something like this... READ MORE
As 2023 elderly-ly limps towards its iminent demise, I'm calmly tired and rather unfocused. Though I suppose that's been the theme of my year, hasn't it? Unfocused. This post is also that! READ MORE
I’ve actually done a lot of work on Dreamons this week, gasp! Though instead of going into detail about that, here's some rambling about popular creations being most obsessively consumed by the young and impressionable. Also, did you know there's a mobile JRPG made by some of the creators of Chrono Trigger? Plus a brief bit about the loneliness epidemic. READ MORE
Here's some rambling about the technicalities of how I create game animations that you probably don't understand or care about!! Also, I have a protagonist and story mostly sorted out now. READ MORE
I've been working on character revisions and story stuff for Dreamons, I talked to a couple of friends but not the counsellor, and I'm finding Tomb Raider III more frustrating than fun! READ MORE
I did a lot of stuff on this Dreamons project this week! Now you can collect summonable allies and alter your own appearance whenever you want from the menu. READ MORE
I got back to this side project last week! Now I'm planning to focus it around an 'evil' council not unlike MARDEK's Governance de Magi. Also, Unity bug and counselling-related awkwardness. READ MORE
Some noteworthy things have happened in the news recently! Not much has happened in my own life, though, due to a combination of taking time off, not being happy with where I am, and not knowing where I should go. READ MORE
YET AGAIN I'm caught up in lousy internal weather and haven't achieved as much as I'd like because of it. So frustrating. I suppose I composed a 16-minute-long piece of music, at least?? Don't know what I'm doing game-dev-wise these days, though... READ MORE
I recently replayed this eccentric 'musical memory game' I actually finished and released in 2019. Despite some fears that I'd cringe over concerns about its content, I ended up feeling mostly impressed and in some cases surprisingly emotional! It's such a shame so few people got to experience the most moving moments though due to the gameplay barrier in the way... READ MORE
Did some Dreamons work this week, but mostly felt indecisive and burned out. Also, potential Patreon issue, and I should probably learn to use a DAW. READ MORE
I spent this week making progress with technical aspects of Dreamons, including replacing levels with a mechanic that plays the role of MP or cooldowns in a way I feel plays well with mechanics I already have. READ MORE
Some thoughts regarding designing this project, Dreamons, around six areas that follow the same formula, with some ideas for each one that still need a lot more refining! READ MORE
Am I onto something with this idea that combines several different ones from the past few months?? Dreamons: A game in which you explore dreamscapes as a customisable avatar to tame humanoid - but with psychedelic aesthetics - dreamons to save people from their mental distress. READ MORE
Some thoughts about how battles should probably begin with silly narrative scenes, and how maybe area rooms could look like isolated dioramas... READ MORE
This... still unnamed side project thing is a game about converting and collecting people, but to what degree should they be unique people rather than collectible types? Should it be about collecting a silly gang of archetypes, or about finding your ~soulmate~?? READ MORE
In an attempt to quell the overwhelming torrent of suggestions coming from the previous post - or at the very least to cement some Monday morning brainstorming - here are some thoughts/decisions about what to do with this still-yet-unnamed game... READ MORE
I'm on a roll with this still-yet-unnamed project thing - or at least as much as I have been with anything lately - so again I've shirked other work to at least make some progress on it. Less than ideal, but better than wasting all my hours lost numbly scrolling through Reddit and half-watching YouTube videos I'll forget as soon as they're done. READ MORE
I've spent another week working on this side project thing (which I still haven't decided on a title for), which has got me thinking a lot about what aspects of turn-based battles are actually fun and which are just going through the motions! READ MORE
I'm not the only indie dev who struggles to find the motivation to work. Also, some minor mechanical additions to... whatever this side project thing I've been working on is even called! READ MORE
I did some stuff on this Belief Battles/Frayth thing this week: buildings and the interior areas they link to, and some concept designs for types of people you'd encounter. READ MORE
I've spent this week working on this side project I still haven't decided on a title for! The player can create their own character now. Also, what counts as inappropriate nudity?? READ MORE
My hope for this week was to get this latest project to the point where I could show a video demo of the main mechanics, like the old Belief one... and that's exactly what I have to show here! Gasp! READ MORE
While waiting on mental health treatment to prepare myself for putting myself out into online communities to promote Atonal Dreams, I've been wondering whether to work on Dreamons as a single-player Pokemon clone you can start a game of and just play within minutes without investing into some grand story... READ MORE
I recently (re)played the remakes of these games that were a big part of my childhood. One trilogy I found mostly enjoyable, the other mostly frustrating! READ MORE
I've continued struggling to focus on games dev due to my recent attempts to get mental health help only exacerbating my issues. I composed some moody music about getting old though!! READ MORE
I've written about porting my old Flash games several times in the past, but nothing ever comes of it. Will the intention actually bear fruit this time?? I've just got a port of AFC working, so...! READ MORE
I've spent this week doing work on this side project which I'm tentatively calling Dreamons. I also revisited its predecessor, Alora Fane: Creation, for inspiration; it's such a tragedy I never widely released that! Maybe I finally should?? READ MORE
I've been wondering whether to turn my recent side project into my main project for a while, to use it as practise for facing the promotion-related things I've been avoiding... READ MORE
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls. READ MORE
How's your first week of 2023 been?? My mental state's improved a bit, but I've only touched Atonal Dreams briefly. I should post on Reddit about it soon; I altered ∞ its Steam page ∞ a bit for that. Also, some thoughts about a side project I've been working on, the game Child of Light, and are you worried about AI too? READ MORE
So how's your whole Christmas/end-of-year period been? I spent at least a week - starting from Christmas Day - alone, in bed, so depressed I could barely even move. So that was fun!! Have I ever mentioned that I'm mentally ill before? What, in most of the blog posts I've written this year, you say?? I've at least made stuff every month despite it, though slower than I'd like. READ MORE
A second post this week with some thoughts about art I drew a few days ago, and the kind of feedback artists hope for when showing other people the fruits of their hard work. READ MORE
This week, I've seen the light at the end of the long tunnel I've been frustratingly stuck in for the past several weeks, and have been preparing to face the promotion stuff I've been avoiding. READ MORE
Another days-late post! Depression slump continues. Some thoughts about a CBC port or remake and rambling about computer crashes and cutscene 'games' I enjoy making for myself but doubt would appeal to others. READ MORE
My mind's been all over the place this week! Old games! Pokemon! Me-made new Pokemon clone?? CBC platformer sequel?? Random computer issues??? Nothing on Atonal Dreams though. READ MORE
This week, I made some Atonal Dreams improvements (mostly) based on feedback from the previous test, and intended to post about it on Reddit, but... am I too burned out? Should I focus on stuff like porting my old games first?? Am I just making up excuses to avoid doing something I have a strong trauma-related aversion towards??? READ MORE
I announced the start of the third alpha test of Atonal Dreams on Monday... but so far only one person has provided feedback. It's discouraging, but I blame myself! READ MORE
Another busy week! Alpha Test 3 will start next week, if you're interested in volunteering to help with that! I also worked a little bit on the Belief side-project thing I started recently. READ MORE
I recently finished the Live A Live Remake... but barely understood its mechanics, as has been the case with pretty much all RPGs I've played in the past. Annoying! Tutorials are the norm for modern games, and here's an overwhelming barrage of images showing all of the tutorials Atonal Dreams includes to hopefully explain its mechanics in a more satisfying way. But are they too much?? Not clear enough?!? I'd value your input! READ MORE
I spent this week revising Atonal Dreams to use the new elements, and I had the most productivity with and confidence about the project I've had in a long time! READ MORE
Last week, I wrote about an idea I'd had for combining the elements and runes in Atonal Dreams, and how I'd been experimenting with a side project - essentially a remake of my old 'Belief' project from late 2019 - to get a feel for whether or not the change would work. I've spent this week working away at that project, so I want to talk about it a bit! READ MORE
Inspiration is a double-edged sword! Should a seemingly good, new idea be pursued if it'd require some steps back to do so? Or should the current path be doggedly stuck to because that's the only way to reach the end?? READ MORE
Typically, RPG spells create flashy particle effects when used, and I've been putting off adding proper ones to the skills in Atonal Dreams. So I finally got around to that this week! READ MORE
WELL THIS WEEK I COULDN'T DO WORK BECAUSE MY DOG ATE ATONAL DREAMS AND-... Or no, gasp, I actually did get stuff done this week! I've been revising dialogue scenes based on tester feedback... though everything continues to take so damn long! READ MORE
Ehh, I've had a weird week. Still a lot of tension and paralysis due to indecisiveness or a general feeling of crisis about the life path I've found myself on, but I feel it's at least started calming maybe after getting - and beginning to act on - some feedback about Atonal Dreams? READ MORE
I've spent this week waiting for feedback for the Atonal Dreams Alpha... or rather, that feels like an excuse to shirk work more than anything, as I find the mere thought of the next big steps - or the alternative severe life changes if this won't work out - so distressing. I should try to play a game for the first time in ages to destress and reinspire myself, but I've been struggling to decide which one! READ MORE
Gasp! I'm ready to start the next Atonal Dreams alpha test next week! Also I've maybe revised Alora Fane's logo and cosmology a bit? And a brief look at another 'solo' dev's Kickstarter, which evoked very mixed feelings in me... READ MORE
I've been working on Mentales this week! I'll likely also spend the next week on that, and I've been wondering again whether to make official ports of my old Flash games... READ MORE
I'm at the point with Atonal Dreams now where I can almost start the next round of alpha testing. I know I've been saying that for probably months, but while then it was on the horizon, now I'm standing on the doorstep. I've got badly burned out getting here, though, so I've also been recovering a bit by working on a side project, Mentales! READ MORE
I set up my new PC at long last, I'm still working on story decisions - including some fast/dream travel 'flowerbeds' - and it's a shame people aren't more receptive to - or even aware of - my post-MARDEK work! READ MORE
Work on the gameplay mechanics/game loop is essentially done now, so I just need to refine the story a bit before doing the next alpha test! Does this new symbol for the Passion element look inappropriately lewd to you?? READ MORE
I'm still going! Potion levels! Uncertainty about how to transition between the nightmare intro and Sprouting Isle, and how the world map should work! Chrono Cross remaster! READ MORE
I spent this week working my way through a to-do list of tedious tasks for Atonal Dreams! Here are a couple of the more interesting additions. READ MORE
I wasn't able to focus on Atonal Dreams this week, but I did make some maybe interesting progress on this side project, Mentales! Also, I've probably got COVID now. READ MORE
I've been writing some dialogue scenes this week! Also my new PC arrived! And a bit of a follow-up about the Ukraine war and the post I wrote about that recently. READ MORE
There are a whole lot of aspects of game dev that I get excited about and enjoy! But there are so many facets to it that I suppose it wouldn't be possible to be in love with every single thing I have to do. I tend to put off the undesirable tasks as much as possible, but I'm at the point now where they're pretty much all that's left at the bottom of the task barrel before I can run the next alpha... so I'm having to endure the gruelling process of working through them. READ MORE
I turned 34 today. I've been assuming I'd be writing a moody post reflecting on how my life's hardly where I expected it to be at this unpleasantly ancient age, but I didn't expect I'd be talking about the threat of nuclear war! What a gift all THAT news has been!! READ MORE
This week, I made some significant revisions to Alora Fane's six elements, plus refinements to the affinities system I talked about last week, and some other miscellaneous things. READ MORE
I composed two new pieces of battle music this week... which I can't show off due to technical issues with my composing program. I'm also wondering about other ways of talking about my progress that might be more noticed... READ MORE
Atonal Dreams was meant as a short standalone prequel to a longer reimagining of the MARDEK story - itself a reworking of another project I'd started on earlier - which I intended to finish within six months to a year. It's been either about a year and a half, two years, or two years and four months since I started - depending on where the start is considered to be - and the finish line still seems distant. In this obnoxiously long, image-heavy post, I want to look back over the entire development journey, to see how the game has evolved each month. READ MORE
Some more work on the music system this week! Also some plans for stuff I want to write before the end of the year, looking back on progress and decisions and such. READ MORE
A (relatively) quick one this week! I've been working more on the music system, which involved making decisions about the 'intensity' system that alters the background music and adds multipliers to damage delivered. READ MORE
This week, I worked on combining three separate music systems in Atonal Dreams' code, but didn't do as much as I'd like due to a distracting dog! READ MORE
I'm still working away at stitching together the intro sections of Atonal Dreams, and also this week I started on a side project based on Alora Fane: Creation! READ MORE
I've made some decent progress this week towards FINALLY moving beyond the nightmare intro and combining that with the tutorial island I already mostly made months ago. I've changed a lot with the game's fundamental mechanics since I last worked with it though, so I'm having to clean up a whole lot of stuff to get it all working. Let's look at some screenshots! READ MORE
I've been very bad mentally these past few days! I want to distract myself by writing out another possible side project idea: a remake of sorts of Alora Fane: Creation, in which you can build your own little quests for others to play... READ MORE
A long one this week! For Atonal Dreams, I made Savitr's flying figmon steed, and the beginnings of a world map you'd use for fast travel. I also want to talk about an idea I have for a potential smaller side project: a simple roguelike virtual pet thing... READ MORE
I got back to work on Atonal Dreams this week, which has been... mixed. A slow, frustrating start, and then various obstacles got in the way, so I wasn't able to get as much done as I wanted (a recurring story, that). One big recurring obstacle was my computer being even laggier than usual, so I've been thinking yet again about replacing it! I'm clueless about hardware though... READ MORE
I've been experiencing severe burnout this week, so I've only done a bit on some dialogue scenes for the intro. I'll probably take a couple of weeks off to recharge and do some other stuff... READ MORE
I worked through some not-very-exciting but necessary details this week. I composed some dynamic music for the first bit of the intro, added a simple custom scripting/events system and rewrote some previous code to allow me to add events fairly easily, and I finally got around to making a model for the battle arena for Collie's Psychepelago. READ MORE
It's already September! How did THAT happen?? I've been working on Atonal Dreams for over a year... So much for the hope I could start and finish in 6 months like I did with Memody: Sindrel Song! READ MORE
I did a lot this week! I made two new monsters, came up with an idea - mementomes - that solves some uncertainties, and improved the Lore section! READ MORE
I mostly finished the intro I was working on, but it's not what I want it to be! I've come up with some revisions though which should make for a better world and story... READ MORE
I've almost finished the intro, but not quite! One thing I've yet to do is finalise a design for 'Splendid Savitr'. Also, I started playing Kingdom Hearts this week, which features more frustratingly aimless backtracking than I remember! READ MORE
I spent this week working on the dark dream intro, though it's not finished yet! I also spent about a day fiddling around with a side project based on Belief - a game I worked on briefly a while back - for the fun of it. READ MORE
I refreshed my memory about the story, wrote out some themes I'm intending for the narrative to explore, and wrote a potential script for the intro that I'm still not sure about! I also experimented with a suggested way of integrating music into battles, though I'm not sure about that either since it doesn't work with the existing battle track (included here)! READ MORE
Lots of indecisiveness this week about whether characters should wield musical instruments, and how Collie is portrayed in the new dream intro! READ MORE
I made a model of a nightmarish Beast this week, but I'm still really tired and unproductive so I'll probably take next week off to try and recover a bit. READ MORE
Another disappointingly unproductive week again, sorry! Here's me venting about that a bit. Also some thoughts about the replies to last week's post regarding what a 'standard RPG' is. READ MORE
I didn't do as much as I'd like this week due to a bunch of factors, so I worked on trying to address those. I also (mostly) made the dream versions of Collie and Savitr, I've included a video showing a basic battle to hopefully clarify some stuff I've previously only written about, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts about a question: What, to you, is a 'standard RPG'? READ MORE
Last week, I talked about removing the vestigial resonars, and I've finalised that decision now. Since having neither a weapon or shield felt too empty, I've replaced the resonars with two new equippable items: an 'amulet' on the right hand for 'attacking', and a 'bracelet' on the left for bracing against incoming blows. I also designed two new monsters to replace the old skills! READ MORE
A long one this week! I've been thinking I should trim out some vestigial features to focus more on the monster-skills mechanic, plus some replies to things people said in comments on last week's post (since I can't reply to them all individually!). READ MORE
Another productive week! I'm almost at the point where I can update the game for a new test run; I just need to tidy up a few bugs and things now. I have some questions related to MARDEK and games dev in general that I'd like to hear your thoughts about this time! READ MORE
I want to talk a bit about money again: how much I'm earning each month, and how the amount that other indie games raise on Kickstarter does convince me to give that a go. READ MORE
It's the end of the first week that people spent alpha testing what I've made so far of Atonal Dreams! I've given out 18 keys, and got feedback of very varying lengths from 10 of those people so far. There's a lot to sort through! Here are some of the things that people have reported, and what I intend to do about them. READ MORE
I've set myself the goal to finish off preparing the Steam page for Atonal Dreams today, but uncertainty's quite a barrier again so I'm writing a bit about it! READ MORE
I've started putting Atonal Dreams on Steam so then I can start accumulating wishlists and run an alpha test before moving forward, but it's tough knowing how to present it, especially without feedback... READ MORE
I updated the website this week; I'll need to put Atonal Dreams on Steam next week, though I also have my next brain scan on Wednesday. This week's album contains some tracks I don't think I've ever released anywhere before! READ MORE
I've changed this site's layout a bit! The main page in particular. I also wanted to add a mailing list, though that's apparently more irritating than I expected... READ MORE
I hoped to have Atonal Dreams ready for alpha testing this week, though depression got in the way of that. I've almost got there though; just a few more tweaks. Also another album of non-game music, from the same time I composed the OST for MARDEK. READ MORE
I was hoping to have Atonal Dreams ready for some kind of alpha test by the end of this week, but frustratingly that's not happened yet because there's so much to do! Also, this week's Music Album contains music from Deliverance (and Fig Hunter and some old stuff)!!!1 READ MORE
I've mostly been doing cleanup/tweaks this week, polishing, trying to get the game to a point where I can show the early section to some alpha testers, but everything takes a long time! While tidying up some gameplay mechanics, I made a change to how the 'arousal' stat works, which I want to talk about here. Also, another music album! READ MORE
I saw this video the other day, in which a just-starting indie dev interviews another who claims to be earning six figures a year from what started as solo games dev, and felt it was worth a post of its own! READ MORE
The main thing I want to show this week is a video of Atonal Dreams' intro bit in preparation for a maybe-soon demo, which I'd very much like to hear your thoughts about! I also added a minimap, and uploaded the OSTs of two Raider games as the Album of the Week. READ MORE
2021's got off to a decent start, productivity-wise! I composed three pieces of music for Atonal Dreams! I've also added an additional album of my old music to the Bandcamp page I set up recently, which is something I intend to make a weekly habit of. READ MORE
Well, we survived 2020 somehow! Or at least some of us did, myself surprisingly included. I've also been quite productive this year, so - as is my tradition - I shall look back on all the stuff I've made here! READ MORE
I'm going to spend the end of the year focusing on things other than Atonal Dreams, to refresh my energy for it and my mind in general. There are three things I could work on: putting old games up somewhere (probably itch.io), releasing soundtracks of all the music I've ever composed, and maybe even starting work on a secondary game which combines Alora Fane: Creation and Belief, sort of! READ MORE
I haven't done much this week, annoyingly! So here's some rambling about sexual objectification again (yay), a revised roadmap for tasks I've done and still need to do, and some thoughts about scripting snags re character psychology that I'm currently in the process of working through. READ MORE
Almost exactly a year ago (wow, feels like way longer), I wrote ∞ a post ∞ about re-releasing a bunch of my old games. I managed to get ∞ MARDEK on Steam ∞ a few months ago, though I've been so focused on making my newest game that I forgot all about re-releasing the old ones. It's on my mind again, though... READ MORE
More script work! I've planned some sections in which pairs of characters dream together, during which their appearances change based on how one of the dreamers subconsciously perceives themselves and the other. Interesting stuff... though again I've been wondering about the concept of sexual objectification and what people perceive as that. READ MORE
More work on the script - and the tool I made for organising/writing it - this week! I've sorted out all the scenes, though I still need to script them! Pierce might have an 'imaginary' girlfriend rather than a Mumsie now... READ MORE
Did you know that Toby Fox composed a music track for Pokemon Sword & Shield? Because I didn't, and when I found out, I felt so weirdly envious about it! But why?? READ MORE
I've been trying to sort out the whole Divine Dreams + Belief + Atonal Dreams story in a way that makes sense to me! I've also come up with some symbols for important concepts during the planning process. READ MORE
I've cleaned up the intro cutscene a (little) bit by adding or changing some structural stuff, plus I've planned the story as a series of dialogue scenes. Next I should write the script in its entirety, though what about the demo I keep teasing?!? READ MORE
I've spent the past couple of weeks looking into what the most sensible next steps might be, but it's still annoyingly unclear. Here's what I'm going to do next anyway, though. READ MORE
My intention today was to read a bunch of articles about how and when I should release a demo. I ended up getting through a single r/gamedev post-mortem and some of the comments before running out of steam! READ MORE
I started this post wondering how best to build my Twitter audience so as to help my game's sales, but I've come out feeling that the best use of Twitter is to network with other creators rather than to appeal to potential customers. READ MORE
Here's a look at some sales stats for my games so far, as well as a couple of articles about the financial suicide of trying to make a living from indie games!! READ MORE
I don't know enough about marketing an indie game, so Atonal Dreams is unlikely to succeed financially unless I learn more. I've written out a list of questions I don't know the answers to, which I'll spend the next week or two researching. Seems more directed than just fumbling around watching videos in the general area! READ MORE
This week, I've rethought how magic works, and have added an additional form of progression. I think I'll stop fiddling around with the battle mechanics now and devote the next couple of weeks to figuring out how best to start getting some players involved! READ MORE
Have you ever heard of a game called Among Us? Probably not. It's really obscure. I mean, it only has 104,597 reviews on Steam. I feel sorry for the developers, honestly. READ MORE
I've been adding some final features and tweaks to Atonal Dreams' battle system, with the intention of having something playable that I can show off to get some opinions about before proceeding. I'm not actually sure where to release that, though; I've seen a few conflicting things! READ MORE
I'm really close now to the point where I can release a playable demo of Atonal Dreams... which should be exciting, but I've had a lot of days recently - today included - where I struggle to get to work due to worries about the waning interest in this blog and - presumably by extension - the game. READ MORE
Here's an interesting video by a dev who's been working on the same game (sort of) for five years (do you think I'm slow??), who gets a lot of attention on his well-made Youtube videos, though surprisingly that doesn't seem to translate to Twitter followers, which makes me wonder how well attention on any social media translates to actual sales in the end. READ MORE
I'm depressed and unmotivated. Again!! However, it's interesting seeing how much actually has changed for the better since another miserable post 3 months ago... READ MORE
I've done a lot of different things on Atonal Dreams this week! I've added weapon functionality for Pierce and Ossoum, I've started building the island the game takes place on, and I've composed music for all four playable characters. READ MORE
I don't follow anyone on Twitter, but I should start following some other indie devs so I feel less alone in walking this path! Any suggestions? READ MORE
After weeks of wondering and planning, I feel I've got the ball rolling on Atonal Dreams now! I've made an info page and a roadmap to explain what the game is and when it might be finished, as well as some new systems that I just added this week! READ MORE
I've made models for these Atonal Dreams party members, and a short video scene thing of them interacting! I've also got a plan for when I might be able to finish Atonal Dreams by. READ MORE
I've spent this week doing more story planning for this now-actually-named thing, Atonal Dreams, which has included drawing final designs of all the major characters. This eccentric bunch are the four playable ones! READ MORE
I've made some good progress towards finalising a story for... this Divine Dreams prologue thing, which I've got some title ideas for but still haven't decided on one yet. I've attempted to write a hopefully-interesting summary here, though it's tough because I don't want to spoil too much! How would you explain a story in a blurb without spoiling anything? What would you include to make it actually compelling? To what extent do stories even matter in games? READ MORE
I'm trying to get to a point with... whatever this Divine Dreams prelude thing is going to be called where I can show off snazzy gifs of gameplay etc to generate interest in the project as I work towards completion. So this week, I've built an island tileset for Savitr and Collie to run around on, and animated their physical attacks so they can fight monsters. READ MORE
I've made 3D models for the two main characters of this still-unnamed shorter Divine Dreams RPG this week: Savitr, the Seraph paragon, and Collie, his (ridiculous) caninely-quirky Cherub apprentice. Quite a contrast! READ MORE
I've been thinking about it all week, and I've got an idea for a shorter, more concise version of Divine Dreams that I could conceivably finish by the end of the year... READ MORE
I'm doing research into how to make money from indie games! Here's a loooong look (a big chunk of which is quotes) at a couple of postmortems which help shed light on where money can come from, and how similar indie devs' stories often are. READ MORE
Yesterday's panic and despair transformed to creative excitement overnight, though I'm still not sure what to do next, if Divine Dreams as planned might not be financially viable. Here are some thoughts about some potential 'short' projects I could maybe release by the end of the year. READ MORE
I love my ideas for Divine Dreams, but making enough money from them is such a daunting prospect that maybe I should rethink what I'm trying to do. READ MORE
Here are four character designs for Divine Dreams, and a bit about the design process! Also, some clarification (again) about how I'm aiming to release Divine Dreams. READ MORE
The more I think about it, the more I like the idea of changing Divine Dreams' protagonist from the old Mardek to a new character, a golden-hearted 'devil' called Dayvha... READ MORE
Here's another post about my continuing journey into the unfamiliar territory I need to explore if I'm to make anything of this games thing! In this one, I mainly talk about stuff from the comments on the last post. READ MORE
I've looked at a few other indie developers' Patreons to get ideas about how to structure mine. There have been disheartening things, some hopeful things; it's been a journey! READ MORE
I made a new monster model; here's a bit about the process! I've also continued implementing and refining the revised battle mechanics; here are four short battle videos showcasing my progress!! Also, should Mardek be a pink elf??? This is a long post!!!! READ MORE
I've been refining and implementing some of Divine Dreams' battle mechanics revisions that I presented in the previous post. Here's what I've got so far. READ MORE
Porting MARDEK to Steam has been frustrating and so far fruitless; here's a bit of venting about it, to let you know how it's going and to relieve my own stress! READ MORE
I'm devoting this week to setting up the old MARDEK games for Steam, though there are some frustrating hurdles. Here's me rambling about what I've got after doing several hours of research today, for catharsis as much as anything! READ MORE
This week, I added the beginnings of long-planned mechanical feature: something called 'concords', which represent the connections between pairs of characters, and which grant various benefits when developed. Also, I redesigned Deugan's weapon. READ MORE
We're nine weeks in now, gasp! This week, I've been working on battle mechanics stuff like buffs and status effects and skills, which I shall talk about here!! READ MORE
This week, I've made the cave tileset more organic, added following allies and some changes to the combat mechanics, and I've been designing miasmon (which is what the monsters are called in this)! Also, a bit about my favourite Pokemon designs from all eight generations. READ MORE
I'm at the point in development now where the initial burst of enthusiasm has likely run its course, so productivity should be more gradual from now on. Most of the major features exist in some basic form, and my main goal now is assembling them into a working demo. READ MORE
Here's a brief review of what I achieved in January, a bit more about field mechanics, a model for Deugan, the conversation system, and some stuff about character progression (and menus). READ MORE
This week, I want to talk about what I'm doing with the music in Divine Dreams (the MARDEK Reimagining)! Here's the music for the fantasy intro, with the same piece from MARDEK for comparison. READ MORE
This week, I went to the brain hospital (I'm not doomed just yet), didn't start playing a new game (but did get back into Beat Sabre a bit), was unpleasantly surprised by some feedback on last week's development post (but I think I understand the psychology of it), and was contacted by a group saying they're giving new life to old Flash games (but I wish I knew more about them)! READ MORE
I've done quite a bit on the MARDEK Reimagining this past week! This time, I'll be talking about the title I've decided on, and a basic battle system I've planned and got working! READ MORE
As Old Father Time wraps his Chrono Dagger +4 rather roughly around 2019's frail and withered neck, breathing heavily behind its ear and savouring the sobs as he gets ready to lacerate its bulging jugular, I feel maniacally compelled to look back on how poorly I've managed to Live My Best Life during the preceding dozen months. I've made things! I released a thing even! It was not a success! I've started on something that'll be big, you guys, just you wait and see, for real, you gotta believe me, guys!! READ MORE
I've done more work on the MARDEK Remake, so here's an updated version of the character silhouettes with almost all the major characters, not just the 'main protagonists'! Also some possible titles! READ MORE
I've done a whole bunch of work on the MARDEK Remake this past week! I've been more focused on it than I have been on anything in a while, and I'm excited about it too! I've planned and drawn concept art of the major protagonists, and I'll post about them individually in the near future; now seems like a bad time though, what with jolly Chrimbo and all. READ MORE
I played MARDEK recently, and it was much better than I expected! I'm now a fan of the series again! Here's how my new feelings about it have influenced what I want to do with a remake. READ MORE
It seems I'm able to make executables of my old games! Gasp! This means they'll be more accessible even without Flash. I've made a list of all the old games that I feel might be worth 're-releasing', some more finished than others. I might even 'remaster' them a little bit, fixing some little details and removing no-longer-relevant stuff (eg sponsor branding). This means I might also be able to release the original MARDEK chapters on Steam, unaltered. (EDIT: I've added a poll to gauge which ones have any interest, so then I can know where to focus first.) READ MORE
I've been thinking about a few different ideas for how I might actually make something of this whole games development thing. Here are four things: "crapps", "talky thing", Kickstarter, and making versions of my old games available using a pay-what-you-want system. READ MORE
Here's some revised concept stuff for my planned next game, Belief, in which a protagonist vaguely based on Mardek's mother is inseminated by an alien based on Rohoph. Fun for the whole family! READ MORE
There's a comment on the previous post which is apparently a negative review left on Sindrel Song on Kartridge. It mentions that the story's take on mental illness is childish, and the rest of the dialogue is 'odd incel talk'. I've been wondering to what extent other people might get a similar impression. READ MORE
I'm working on getting to the point with Belief where I can show a video of the gameplay. I'm not at that point yet, but here's what I've done so far. I'm wondering whether it might be best to make it a standalone game (rather than three chapters) at first, without connections to MARDEK, to see whether people are receptive to that before locking myself into something I might not finish, but there are still a lot of decisions to be made. READ MORE
I spent a couple of days building a battle system mockup for a potential MARDEK reimagining... though there are many issues and uncertainties with it from a mechanical and conceptual perspective. Should I be returning to MARDEK at all? To what degree? There's a lot to work through. READ MORE
This talk of MARDEK is definitely sparking an active discussion! I want to address a few of the comments on the previous post, clarifying what I had in mind with some of the changes I described. Also some rambling about whether seeing this as a reimagining rather than a remaster might be the wisest way to go about it. READ MORE
Well! I'm surprised by the amount of interest the previous post got, and so quickly too. There seem to be a lot of good reasons to remaster MARDEK, and now really does seem to be the best time to do that. I'm very reluctant to change nothing though. Here are some thoughts about how I intend to try to tackle this. READ MORE
Last week, I talked about how I'm aiming to get Sindrel Song on Steam, but I'm unsure whether to self-publish or get a publisher. I've since read a bit about it, but I'm still not sure! READ MORE
Since the 'release' of Sindrel Song was so quiet due to Kartridge's obscurity, I'll need to do some research that I've mentioned in the past but haven't actually done yet... Maybe you can help, if you're that way inclined? READ MORE
I've just been naively assuming that Sindrel Song will do okay without too much promotional effort on my part. I very much doubt that it'll make millions!!, but I thought $10k+ would just 'sort of happen somehow'. That if the game were out there, thousands of people would notice and buy it. I've been avoiding actually doing research about promotion and marketing though because it's stressful and unfamiliar to even think about, but now that release is upon me (or delayed, if anything), I've been looking into it and... well, experiencing the anxiety I'd been avoiding it to prevent. I'm planning to do more research and to keep updating this post with everything I learn, even if nobody reads it and it's all for my benefit! It'll be useful to have it all in one place. READ MORE
Here's what I've managed to achieve in the first week after starting this new project, currently called Belief. I've made a working 'battle' system, I've planned the primary protagonists and an outline of the story, and I've started on the stylised character graphics. READ MORE
I've spent the past few days working on a game idea inspired by my old projects, which feels like it could work! Essentially, it's a sort-of JRPG with a 'battle' system based around using social skills to control moods and convince people to believe in the god in your head. READ MORE
I've made a video trailer thing for Memody: Sindrel Song, and I'm curious to hear some thoughts before using it as the primary way of demonstrating what this thing even is! READ MORE
I'm (still) taking forever to do the promotional stuff for Sindrel Song, due to my various mental illnesses. I've set up a page for the game, on which I talk about my backstory as a developer in some detail, but I wonder if I'm going in the right direction with it. READ MORE
I said in the previous post that I'm aiming to release Sindrel Song at the end of next week, which is also the end of the sixth month, which feels right. I've come up with a list of things I need to do between now and then, but I'm somewhat clueless and am very open to the thoughts of more knowledgeable people about how to handle this! READ MORE
Here's another update, which addresses the biggest remaining issue - rewarding the player's performance - in the form of 30 clothing items, and the shrine where you can acquire or equip them. The game is likely in its final form now; I still need to fix a few bugs, but I've now finally finished all the major content! READ MORE
Finally! I've uploaded the latest version of this game for some final testing, to ensure everything works as it should and to resolve some lingering uncertainties. READ MORE
It's been a week since I last posted anything! Gasp. I've been very busy finishing off the last bits of Sindrel Song, and I'm almost done now!! READ MORE
Testing for Memody: Sindrel Song has been underway for over two weeks now, and some of the testers have finished the game. Yay! I've been doing a lot to improve the experience based on feedback - most notably adding features to address difficulty concerns - but I still have some big concerns. Most importantly, is the game actually fun? READ MORE
Here's an update to the Sindrel Song testing beta which includes some new mechanics, which emerged after engaging with feedback and discussions, and which I hope will address many of the difficulty concerns! READ MORE
It's been just over a week since testing on Memody: Sindrel Song started, and there's been a whole lot of high-quality feedback to sift through! I've fixed some bugs and added some relatively minor technical things, but I'm concerned about some of the more subjective aspects, as the opinions from different people seem to vary quite drastically. Most notably, the difficulty is still a concern; I feel it'll be difficult to find the right balance there. READ MORE
I've FINALLY almost finished Sindrel Song! For real this time!! I'll probably start testing early next week, if I can get some final tweaks done over the weekend. Here's a video showing the game as it is now, plus some rambling about thoughts and concerns I've had while finishing it off. READ MORE
It bothers me that I'm having to worry about this game's story and characters being too repulsively depressing, when excessive, gory violence pervades media the majority go wild for... READ MORE
ANOTHER POST. I've made the new version of Memody I talked about in the previous post, and I feel like I've come up with a way that I could effectively explore the neurotic themes in a way that's entertaining rather than uncomfortable... but I'm wondering whether this is a bad time to be releasing this, if people are particularly busy! READ MORE
For the first time in ages and to my great surprise, I actually had a really productive past few days! I've been using what energy I've had to work on Sindrel Song, and I've got a lot closer to the finish line which has been on the horizon for far too long. Here, I want to show some screenshots of the 3D versions of the stages that I've finally made, while talking in detail about the techniques I've used and the things I've learned along the way. If you're interested in how games are made, that might appeal to you! READ MORE
After posting ∞ the previous entry ∞ mere hours ago, I had a spark of inspiration, and I feel like I'm finally onto something with Sindrel Song's story! READ MORE
Comedians, Hollywood films, and young people making memes on the internet all address mental turmoil in their own ways; dancing with one's demons isn't the territory solely of disturbed pariahs. I've been trying to do a similar thing with Sindrel Song, but I'm stuck in the mud of uncertainty because I know that not everyone would eagerly embrace such a thing in the way I might. READ MORE
Despite constant, irritating fatigue, and woes about my present and my future, I've been slowly working my way through writing dialogue for Sindrel Song... READ MORE
I've done quite a bit of work on Sindrel Song recently, but haven't talked about it properly in a while. So here I'll talk about aspects of the writing, and how I've attempted to make the multiple attempts required to complete each song satisfying rather than off-putting. READ MORE
I need to work on Sindrel Song, I need to upload my old games to my websites again, and I have plans for something MARDEK-related as well that I need to find the time to properly focus on. And I'm tired, still. Here's a vague plan for where I'm going from here. READ MORE
Some cathartic venting about fatigue, lack of motivation, mental barriers, Alora Fane, and MARDEK 4. And this thing from Sindrel Song, obviously. READ MORE
Here's quite a bit of stuff I've been doing on Sindrel Song, including a couple of videos showing improved gameplay and the sheet music structure of playable songs I've been composing for it. READ MORE
Radiotherapy's almost over, and I'm currently tired and ill. I got a Mac and can test games on my phone now! But I haven't made much progress beyond that due to feeling so lousy. Still, 'not much' progress is not none! READ MORE
Here's a post in which I describe my current project - Sindrel Song - including screenshots, a gameplay video, some music I composed for it, and some rambling about the story, how the main character is tied to MARDEK, in a roundabout way, and how this game will be set in the world of Alora Fane. READ MORE
So, now that the 2018th year since our Lord Jesus Christ hatched from his egg is gasping out its final breaths, I feel the compulsion to have a look at exactly how I've wasted this period of my life that I'll never get back. I graduated from university (and made it through alive, to my surprise), I had brain surgery for a cancerous tumour (and made it through alive, to my surprise), and I did a bunch of creative stuff but never actually finished or released anything (and made it through alive, to the absolute shock of everyone). That's... something? READ MORE
I've been wondering whether to set several short games in a shared world, with these 'sindrel' creatures as characters. I've set a new short game idea in this world, which I conceived of then started building a couple of days ago, and it's almost done already. I like playing it again and again, too, so that's good! Maybe I'm getting somewhere... READ MORE
Radiotherapy's getting easier, though it's still leaving me tired. And I've been trying to work on this associative memory game idea, but I'm unsure how to go about it; there are some fairly severe barriers in the way! READ MORE
As much as I'd rather not, I wonder whether I should try making some short, simple apps in the hope of earning money, which I could then use as a place of stability so then I might be able to work on my passion projects with less worry... READ MORE
I feel terrible still, but here's some disjointed rambling about my upcoming radiotherapy, the previous post's comments, Toby Fox, and ideas for a game I might make about a consciousness researcher exploring the afterlife. READ MORE
This is a continuation of the story of my creative journey, which started with ∞ this post ∞. In this one, I talk about the first games that I made! READ MORE
Are women oppressed by a patriarchal society, as feminism would have us believe? Or is it women who are privileged and men who are oppressed, as those who've taken the 'red pill' claim? Here's some ramblings about all that which have brought me a kind of peace, as well as a game concept that gender relations have inspired, based around the idea that the two sexes are playing different but overlapping games with dissimilar challenges, rather than one being absolutely more or less fortunate than the other in everything. READ MORE
I've spent the last few days writing a long, long post where I go over my old art, music, and games, originally as an attempt to explain why I won't be making MARDEK IV, but I've been getting carried away. I'm wondering if it would be of any interest to anyone. READ MORE
Since the previous post, I've completely revised most of the primary gameplay of Embracing Eternity! The new mechanics focus on exploring the subjective nature of the world, and what it's like to see from someone else's eyes. READ MORE
I intend to return to ∞ a project I started a while ago called Embracing Eternity ∞, and I've been playing around with some ideas for a 'battle' system that'd be more in line with the concepts I want to explore. While I like it conceptually, I don't think it'd work as a fun game, unfortunately. I thought it might be interesting to share anyway though. READ MORE
Over the past week or so, I've been working on the prototype for a game - my first in 3D - which will eventually be about suicide (sort of)!! Here's a version of it you can already play!!!! READ MORE
I find myself making creative things quite often as a distraction from unappealing university work and my broken mind. What I've been making recently is all over the place, but here are a few recent examples for the curious. READ MORE
I feel the drive to do something creative, and I've been playing around with ideas recently... But the fear of criticism really gets in the way of producing anything, especially since I want to use art as a way of coping with and communicating my psychological struggles, which has hardly been met with eager excitement in the past. READ MORE
Rediscovering things we liked when younger can be a pleasant thing, and it's nice to check back on them and see they're still alive with new content. I've been told by many people that my MARDEK games were a pleasant part of their childhoods, so it's a shame I never finished them. READ MORE
I enjoy creating things, particularly games, though it's been a while since I last did. I'm not sure what to work on now, though I've been using some games I've recently played for inspiration. READ MORE
I haven't updated this thing in a while. I'm not dead. Yet. Though I still often feel as if I'd rather be, or if I already am in some sense. I mourn the apparent death of my once vibrant and fulfilling creativity in particular. A shame about that. Anyway, in the last few weeks I've been depressed - as usual - though I've also had enough tastes of actual happiness to motivate me to seek out paths to a better place. I feel I've also come to some realisations about the root of most of my psychological problems. Now that I've finished the rather draining academic assignments that have been eating up almost all my time recently, I'd like to write about everything here for my own benefit; it does seem to help to get it all out. READ MORE
I'm trying to distract myself from my brain by working on games, as that's really all I've known for the past few years. Uncertain of which of my various projects to direct my attention towards, I found myself drawn to one called Cultivate, where you design and look after little humans whose variable appearances are generated purely by code. While I should be adding features in order to make it into a playable game, instead I seem to spend an awful lot of time just looking at the people it randomly generates, thinking a lot about attractiveness and how we stylise our bodies in art. How drastically skewed proportions still register as human, how we're drawn not to realism, but to that which surpasses it... READ MORE
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