And yet I can't help but wonder whether comments like this are the polite face of people privately talking or thinking about how I'm being vile or lost in some undesirable political way or something... It must be nice to be surrounded by people who echo and support your viewpoints, but I can only imagine it.
Essentially everything I'm saying stems from the fear of negative judgement that's characteristic of social anxiety/avoidant personality disorder, and which has been exacerbated by criticism I've got in the past, and recent comments re the 'sexual' content of Atonal Dreams (Collie specifically) which make me paranoid of the negative consequences of that, which is frustrating since it's not like it's even all that sexual. There were a bunch of posts I wrote while developing Sindrel Song with similar insecurities about how it'd be received (and then it went mostly unnoticed in the end, which might happen with this too).
I mentioned those two examples purely because I encountered them passively during Reddit browsing over the course of the week, and found it interesting how different the reactions to them were. Though I suppose they're not comparable. It's not as if I was searching for them purely to make a point.
It's because of comments from what little audience I have here that I've been worried about this, rather than general vilification of some imagined politically-affiliated horde. It's just... 'interesting', I suppose, how I'm doing a lot of things similarly to when I made my old stuff, but I'm hearing surprising concerns about them now that I'm not used to. Nobody complained about the sex jokes or sexualised characters (eg Elwyen) in MARDEK.
Everyone seems to be more political than they used to be, and obviously all our perspectives of the world are being shaped by the values held in the bubbles we've fallen into. I just worry a lot that the one I've fallen into is different to the one players might be in, I suppose, and things like this feel like a sign of that.
I just want to make something people can enjoy...
2
MontyCallay99~3Y
"Nobody complained about the sex jokes or sexualised characters (eg Elwyen) in MARDEK."
Exactly! That's very similar to how I think it would normally be with Atonal Dreams - I don't think the average player really cares about these things in the way that you're worried about. Nor do I think that you've put off any of your fans (that I know of). People have their own opinions and worldviews and they may or may not align with yours, but I don't see this necessarily leading to any conflict or preventing any enjoyment of Atonal Dreams.
Honestly, the way you're (seemingly) opening up discussion and criticism on this again and again probably isn't doing your anxiety any favours! What started with a few comments about an early draft of Collie combined with your fear of judgment and becoming exposed to political outrage from Reddit etc. has ballooned this topic somewhat out of proportion! When I'm polite in my comments it's not because I'm cringing behind your back about whatever you're saying, but rather because I want to reiterate my confidence that I think you're fine with the path you're on at the moment.
Essentially everything I'm saying stems from the fear of negative judgement that's characteristic of social anxiety/avoidant personality disorder, and which has been exacerbated by criticism I've got in the past, and recent comments re the 'sexual' content of Atonal Dreams (Collie specifically) which make me paranoid of the negative consequences of that, which is frustrating since it's not like it's even all that sexual. There were a bunch of posts I wrote while developing Sindrel Song with similar insecurities about how it'd be received (and then it went mostly unnoticed in the end, which might happen with this too).
I mentioned those two examples purely because I encountered them passively during Reddit browsing over the course of the week, and found it interesting how different the reactions to them were. Though I suppose they're not comparable. It's not as if I was searching for them purely to make a point.
It's because of comments from what little audience I have here that I've been worried about this, rather than general vilification of some imagined politically-affiliated horde. It's just... 'interesting', I suppose, how I'm doing a lot of things similarly to when I made my old stuff, but I'm hearing surprising concerns about them now that I'm not used to. Nobody complained about the sex jokes or sexualised characters (eg Elwyen) in MARDEK.
Everyone seems to be more political than they used to be, and obviously all our perspectives of the world are being shaped by the values held in the bubbles we've fallen into. I just worry a lot that the one I've fallen into is different to the one players might be in, I suppose, and things like this feel like a sign of that.
I just want to make something people can enjoy...
Exactly! That's very similar to how I think it would normally be with Atonal Dreams - I don't think the average player really cares about these things in the way that you're worried about. Nor do I think that you've put off any of your fans (that I know of). People have their own opinions and worldviews and they may or may not align with yours, but I don't see this necessarily leading to any conflict or preventing any enjoyment of Atonal Dreams.
Honestly, the way you're (seemingly) opening up discussion and criticism on this again and again probably isn't doing your anxiety any favours! What started with a few comments about an early draft of Collie combined with your fear of judgment and becoming exposed to political outrage from Reddit etc. has ballooned this topic somewhat out of proportion! When I'm polite in my comments it's not because I'm cringing behind your back about whatever you're saying, but rather because I want to reiterate my confidence that I think you're fine with the path you're on at the moment.