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Comment from: Mental Piranhas
purplerabbits146~3Y
For me on Reddit, I find that if you don't curate what you look for , you end up with a lot of vitriol because algorithms have determined that anger gets more views.

"Am I a monster? A manipulator?" That right there puts you at odds against the actual monsters. Because the monsters don't have the self awareness to look at themselves to see if there is a problem. You on the other hand, have a tendency at looking inward with a self awareness that others should follow.

I remember back when you talked about incels and the manosphere, to me too many guys there blame external factors for failing to find a partner, but there is an undercurrent of entitlement that more than likely contributes to why women stay away from them. I can say personally that even if a guy is a model with a million dollars, entitlement and selfishness is one of the biggest turn offs for me and I won't even touch him with a 10 foot pole.

I remember a now recently banned sub r/MGTOW (Men going their own way) those guys seem to have an internal issue where they have sworn off women because of a really bad experience with women in the past. At least that's how it reads to me: them putting a blanket experience as true for all men, when in actuality only some women are as they describe.

In the various relation advice subreddits, there are other men and women that have had really bad experiences with the opposite gender, but not everyone stays miserable and some even find a partner that treats them well. Those that self improved are the ones that found happiness.

The Chris Chan situation is really sad since everyone failed him. His parents never gotten Chris help when they got his autism diagnosis, he failed himself by "feeding" the trolls, and the state failed him. It's just really sad since he seems to live in a delusion as a way of self defense from the horror of the reality he lives in.

It's interesting how you describe the need to vent, while the "fix the problem" mentality grates against you a bit. I remember a friend sharing an meme/comic with me where a woman with a nail in her head is complaining about a recent headache she has, while her male companion keeps trying to tell her that she has a nail in her head. Every time the man tries to tell her, she keeps saying "It's not about the nail!" Eventually the man just sits there and listens and the woman completes her thoughts with a "Thank you for listening I feel much better." As a female myself I can relate a bit to the female since some issues I know how to solve, but I'd rather deal with it later than right now. On the other hand though, I do relate very much more to the man because I want to never have to deal with issues again if there is a clear solution.

I do remember something where a group of friends have a system set up where they post an emoji of an ear to let the rest of the group know they just want to vent, and they post a wrench emoji if they want help find a solution to their current issue. That kind of communication helps keep that group together since no one is a mind reader and knows which form of help they need: an ear to listen to or a solution to a problem.

I'm not sure how much it means to you, but I am cheering for you.
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