Ohhh, I'd been going to groups for things like hula hooping, crab fishing, and bear baiting - all of which I hate - and I was extremely confused about why I wasn't making friends at them!!
...By which I mean I did go to gatherings that were based around my interests. I know I was going on about my insecurities and general misery in this post, but you needn't patronise me. I mean I've existed for 33 years and I have a Psychology degree, so I'd like to think I'm not completely clueless about how people tick.
The problem though is that even though I make indie games, I don't actually have much interest in talking about or playing games with other people. I had a bunch of friends in school who mostly talked about games (and porn; they were teenage guys), and I got essentially nothing out of it. When they contacted me on weekends to spend time together, I'd always much rather just spend time alone, making stuff.
I used to be fairly active on an art site where other people who like making stuff congregated (deviantART), and I made a few friends there, including one who became my girlfriend. After she and I broke up, I continued to use it, but lightning didn't strike in the same place twice.
The most fulfilling connections I've had with people involved talking about our similar mental issues, which some people do want to do. I know I do, as do a lot of people who struggle with them every day, and the Psychology course was full of such people. Even on Fig Hunter, I was more interested in talking with people about their ~personality types~ and such than about my own games that they'd played.
The groups I went to before uni all revolved around that kind of thing in some way - anxiety groups, mindfulness meditation groups, etc - or creative things like art, but I live in a sleepy seaside village 'where old people go to die', not a highly populated city, so that's why most of the other members were old. Just unlucky circumstance.
As I said in the post, I'll be trying first to post in Reddit communities about social anxiety and indie games dev.
You're lucky to have found connections fairly easily wherever you've gone, though I suppose that's true for most people too. If you didn't check the link in the post to the r/socialanxiety subreddit, it might be worth skimming the latest thread titles to get an idea of the kinds of thoughts that make things that might be easy for you more difficult for me.
0
phsc57~3Y
People don't use Reddit to make friends, people use Reddit to talk about their interests in a sort of anonymous way, the closest "social media" (or antisocial media as some call it) is 4chan after all, people are not there to make friends they just want to talk about something or see posts related to something, and even then, game dev is a topic one can talk about but it is very pragmatical, for one to truly make friends and have actual conversations it has to involve something rather specific, I think the only way you could truly make deeper connections with game developement would be developing a game with other people, which I would imagine is not something you would want to do.
And after using a subreddit about discussions for a topic like that for too long, you will realize basically all conversation topics keep repeating and it is rather boring, happens with everything that is not constantly updated by some external factor, not to mention actual reposts for karma or whatever.
And well, how are you going to overcome your anxiety other than... getting out of your comfort zone and talking to people? but then, you think using Reddit is going out of your comfort zone, so I don't really know.
Also you did not understand what I meant, people have their tastes, you surely do something other than gamedev and anxiety, did you ever try out things that when imagining you might not like? turns out that sometimes people actually like things they at first believed they would not like.
0
Astreon152~3Y
Hula Hooping, you definitely need to try a hula hooping group again.
It's true they form quite a tight circle but once they let you enter the loop you don't regret it.
On the contrary i'd avise to not give crab fishing groups another try: there are too many emotional undercurrents involved and it'll leave you with a pinch in the heart.
...By which I mean I did go to gatherings that were based around my interests. I know I was going on about my insecurities and general misery in this post, but you needn't patronise me. I mean I've existed for 33 years and I have a Psychology degree, so I'd like to think I'm not completely clueless about how people tick.
The problem though is that even though I make indie games, I don't actually have much interest in talking about or playing games with other people. I had a bunch of friends in school who mostly talked about games (and porn; they were teenage guys), and I got essentially nothing out of it. When they contacted me on weekends to spend time together, I'd always much rather just spend time alone, making stuff.
I used to be fairly active on an art site where other people who like making stuff congregated (deviantART), and I made a few friends there, including one who became my girlfriend. After she and I broke up, I continued to use it, but lightning didn't strike in the same place twice.
The most fulfilling connections I've had with people involved talking about our similar mental issues, which some people do want to do. I know I do, as do a lot of people who struggle with them every day, and the Psychology course was full of such people. Even on Fig Hunter, I was more interested in talking with people about their ~personality types~ and such than about my own games that they'd played.
The groups I went to before uni all revolved around that kind of thing in some way - anxiety groups, mindfulness meditation groups, etc - or creative things like art, but I live in a sleepy seaside village 'where old people go to die', not a highly populated city, so that's why most of the other members were old. Just unlucky circumstance.
As I said in the post, I'll be trying first to post in Reddit communities about social anxiety and indie games dev.
You're lucky to have found connections fairly easily wherever you've gone, though I suppose that's true for most people too. If you didn't check the link in the post to the r/socialanxiety subreddit, it might be worth skimming the latest thread titles to get an idea of the kinds of thoughts that make things that might be easy for you more difficult for me.
And after using a subreddit about discussions for a topic like that for too long, you will realize basically all conversation topics keep repeating and it is rather boring, happens with everything that is not constantly updated by some external factor, not to mention actual reposts for karma or whatever.
And well, how are you going to overcome your anxiety other than... getting out of your comfort zone and talking to people? but then, you think using Reddit is going out of your comfort zone, so I don't really know.
Also you did not understand what I meant, people have their tastes, you surely do something other than gamedev and anxiety, did you ever try out things that when imagining you might not like? turns out that sometimes people actually like things they at first believed they would not like.
It's true they form quite a tight circle but once they let you enter the loop you don't regret it.
On the contrary i'd avise to not give crab fishing groups another try: there are too many emotional undercurrents involved and it'll leave you with a pinch in the heart.