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LevProtter39~2Y
Been struggling with this a bit.
Not too much because of anxiety, which did reduce with a certain 'watershed' moment related to some pseudo spiritual searching.

I did meet a few friends through Dota, and maintain some mild contact with some high school friends (dorms helped).

Currently my isolation is due to a lack of will to engage with things, and it feels like there's some threshold related to pain avoidance I never get past.

Sometimes I wonder what a fulfilling relationship would even look like.

Sometimes I wish I could go on an extremely long walk without anything to worry about.

There's also the cold hard behavior angle, where you become your own tyrant, and modulate behavior and emotion. I guess the goal would be to incremental change the whole self-environment dynamic.

I have been part of a 'Zen' discord community that's mostly about DnD and music, where we do and can discuss mental stuff.

Some of the 'rationalist' communities I've seen discuss mental health fairly openly, and have 'friend finding' areas and such.
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