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Tobias 1099~1Y
Where are you getting the idea that my "major social inability is emotions management"? That's not accurate. I'm lonely because I don't encounter potentially compatible people at all. Where would I?

Also, I was severely neglected and bullied as a child. In my early twenties, I ran a community of thousands of people, many of whom were less than tactful and some had Dark Triad traits, and I still bear the trauma from that. I've spent most of my adult life isolated because I've been focusing on solo games dev and because my attempts to find other people have been mostly fruitless. I had brain surgery for brain cancer. These are all relevant factors.

On the rare occasions I have encountered people I click with in situations where it's appropriate to make contact and they're receptive to it, I've been able to develop close connections quickly without issue. But those situations are few and far between.

I'm selective of who I want to spend time with because enduring years of advice from people - both well-intentioned and otherwise - for how I can and should 'fix' myself made me completely fed up with it. Wouldn't we all prefer to people who look across to us rather than down on us?

Here's a comparison (though how you interpret it would depend on your views, I suppose): do you think a trans person would prefer to associate with other trans people, or with people who'd tell them that pronouns are nonsense and that they're mentally ill?

One of the many things that I learned about while getting my Psychology degree (that is, it was taught from textbooks) is that data shows that people are attracted to similarity above all else. I would prefer a partner roughly similar to me. I could give a much more in-depth answer to this but this reply is long enough.
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original24~1Y
If you say that you are adequate at managing your emotions, then I won't argue, you know yourself best. 'I'll list factors that made me make the claim against it only out of respect for your questions - they were your poor physical fitness, social anxiety past and present, frustration due to lack of luck, other minor things you wrote and my own knowledge and intuition. You mention lots of traumas in your last reply - I'd consider them factors too (they could potentially lower the emotion management ability).

I understand now that you are highly allergic to (at least some type of) advice. I personally rather like receiving advice (for reasons you likely don't care about), but I understand that people typically aren't wired to like it too much.

As for trans person preferences, they'd rather associate themselves with other trans people, but your metaphor seems to be a false dichotomy to me. Ignoring that, I understand that metaphor like that: you would prefer to mingle with people closely similar to you, perhaps down to self-isolation, because other people you associate with negative things (like advice or looking down on you).

Good luck Tobias, maybe it will be concentrated in your other half of life.
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