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Comment from: Post-Event Rumination
Laprilla14~2M
I just wanted to say that I relate to a lot of what you're saying, and I'm glad you decided to share it with us. I get social anxiety myself; one of the things that made me avoid social situations in the past was knowing that the bad feelings will be worse after the event than before or during even if nothing really bad happened, and I might create a bad memory that will stay with me for a long time, maybe even my lifetime. I felt the same way about the comment I left on your last post (should I really have commented that??). And the thing is maybe I will mess up and make a mistake in real life if I choose to speak to people, so in a way the fear is real, but having social anxiety just takes it to an extreme. And it's really unfortunate when you have sometime good to offer the world, but the negative voices keep you down.

I don't know if it helps at all, but personally I'm finding that talking to people who know me and care for me about my insecurities has kind of helped me over the last few years. I have honest and helpful people in my life whose feedback I can trust. So sometimes if I'm feeling uncertain about something, I'll go ask for feedback, and they usually tell me it's fine, I'm worrying too much. Sometimes they say they do disagree with me, but it's generally not a huge deal. I don't know, but hearing it from someone else really helped my confidence. I hope it can help yours as well.

I feel like I had more to say, but it's just not coming to mind.

And I'm feeling like this now, too: Should I post this? I want to say it since maybe it helps, but I'm afraid to say it in case it doesn't. ^_^' Maybe I'll ask someone, lol.
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Tobias 1099~2M
Ha, I don't even remember what you said in your other comment! Much like how the tutor didn't remember what I said and was cringing about during the class. Nobody cares about what we do nearly as much we ourselves do. Though knowing that and 'believing' it are very different things, of course.

(While I don't remember what you said in your comment, I also don't remember having a negative reaction to it, which I would if I'd had one. For what that's worth. I have no negative feelings about this one I'm replying to, either!)

Having a support network is really important for enduring the slings and arrows life and our minds cast against us, but my biggest problem is that I don't really have one. I have a couple of friends, but we rarely talk. One agreed to do a video call before the first class - to my surprise - and that helped, but she still hasn't replied to the message I sent her after I got back, and I haven't heard from the other in weeks.

Being so cut off is a nightmare because I don't have anyone else to calibrate my thoughts with, and I don't get reassurance that my approach is acceptable. My biggest hope for this class has been that I could meet someone there to fill the void, but no luck yet. Though it's still very early days.
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Laprilla14~2M
Ah, that makes sense. I have a few people in my life, but I can talk to them pretty often. I'm sorry you have to be alone. That sounds pretty difficult.

I remember my counselors telling me about meetup groups for people with similar mental health issues. I don't know if they have that for people with anxiety or AvPD, but it would make a lot of sense in my opinion. Maybe you can look for something like that or ask a counselor if they know of anything like that.
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Tobias 1099~2M
Isolation ravages the mind, and it's the crux of most of my issues these days. I've spent much of my life trying to escape it with much more failure than success.

I tried many meetup groups in the past, including anxiety support groups. I was always the youngest one in the group by decades; everyone else was married and employed.
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Laprilla14~2M
I wish I had better advice then, but I guess I don’t.

I do relate, though. My friends are basically my family (which is large-ish), and other than that I have one friend who I rarely talk to. There are a few non-family who I know, but we never really talk. I wish I had more connections, hence why I reach out on Reddit and YouTube sometimes. There’s the option to write about a fantastical friendship group that I probably will never get to have in reality, which maybe I can still do. I feel I’m not very creative with the story-writing, though, but it’s something I want to do.

Hopefully I’m not talking about myself too much. Just wanted to say I think I get at least some of what you’re going through. Maybe even a lot of it. And I wish you well, however that may display itself.
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